Relationships can be difficult. Conflicts and challenges arise, a difference of opinion between you and your partner creates tension, and soon enough you’re ready to go on a break and spend some time apart.
While going on a break may seem like the best option for you and your partner when your relationship gets rough, it is actually one of the worst things for a relationship in terms of how it impacts how you and your partner address conflict.
The thing with breaks in relationships is that they act as a sort of band-aid to temporarily solve problems.
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They provide the opportunity for yourself and your partner to momentarily escape the dilemma that prompted the two of you to spend time apart, but they fail to actually address the dilemma and potentially solve it. Once the break is over and you and your partner return to one another, the problem is still present, lingering in the background, waiting to rear its ugly head again in the future.
I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for four years, and I will be honest in saying that the opportunity to take a break from each other has presented itself more than once. However, my boyfriend has the same opinion towards breaks in relationships as I do, therefore whenever we encountered an issue that had the potential to drive us apart, we decided to tackle it head-on and put it to rest.
I strongly believe that addressing an issue immediately with your partner is by far the best way to handle conflict in a relationship, rather than avoiding it through means of the isolation and disconnect that comes with taking a break.
As appealing as a temporary break in your relationship may seem, it really can be the most destructive thing to ever happen to the bond you have with your partner.
Taking breaks could encourage trust to be damaged, miscommunication to occur, and further down the line could even prompt a permanent breakup. If you and your partner find yourself taking frequent breaks and have difficulty addressing the original issue that encouraged the break to occur, perhaps the two of you should consider why it is that communication has become inferior to spending time apart.
If it becomes apparent that the two of you have become reliant on breaks in an attempt to avoid problem-solving, it may be a sign to seriously consider the state of your relationship and to determine whether or not it has the potential to improve.
Communication is an absolutely essential component of any relationship, whether the said relationship is intimate, friendly, or family-oriented, and although it can be tricky to figure out the right words to discuss a certain issue, hashing it out sooner rather than later will benefit you and others in the long run.
If you’re thinking about taking a break from your partner, perhaps think twice about the future implications it could create. It may seem tempting at first, but it could very well be the worst thing to ever happen to yourself and your significant other.
--Your Tango--