A week ago, we were getting ready for church. I have had my shower and called my husband to come upstairs to have his shower, so we do not run late.
But as usual, he was doing “something important “in the hall. So when he finally came upstairs I gave him a proper silent treatment! He just went to quickly shower, at this moment I was seething with anger, wanted to tell him my piece of mind.
When he came into the bedroom to dress up, he realized I had not zipped my dress all the way to the top( mind you I needed help to do this, but I was so angry to ask) He walked over and zipped my dress up without me asking. This put a smile on my face. During the day this issue played on my mind and I kept wondering how it could have developed into a proper cold war if he had not done that gesture.
In the past couple of months, I have heard and learnt of many Ghanaian couples separate or divorce here in the UK, as well as Ghana. It looks like separation and divorce is on the increase. And sadly it is more rampant in Christian marriages. I am not a marriage expert, by God’s Grace, I have been married for 10 years. I can tell you for a fact marriage is rewarding but it has not all been rosy and lovely, it has been hard work from both my husband and I.
One of the main reasons God instituted marriage is a create a relationship between human beings that modelled the relationship between himself and mankind. He meant for a husband and wife to model the relationship between God and his people. Unfortunately, this beautiful institution is being destroyed, due to a number of factors.
I believe the concept of love and commitment in marriage has changed in our society today. Nowadays men and women go into marriage with the wrong ideas and notions. A young lady enters a union, thinking all is going to be perfect and lovely; butterflies in your stomach, heart pounding, the man buying her flowers, and gifts every day he comes home from work.
In the case of the young male; having a perfect wife who can cook and do everything, she looking all perfect every day, lovely hair and clothes etc. Unfortunately, the reality is so different! Love in marriage is not just a feeling, but rather a decision and it involves hard work. You need to work at it every day for the rest of your lives together. One need to make that conscious decision that you have chosen this person to live with and you are committed to work at the relationship (till death do you part).
Bearing in mind that, there are going to be fights, arguments, tests, trials, struggles etc. When these challenges occur the willingness of both parties to work together is what makes marriage work.
I also do believe people have become too selfish in marriages. I think people nowadays have become too selfish in their understanding of what marriage is all about. They focus too much on their needs and what they can get from the marriage rather than what they can do to make it a success.
They just care about their needs and wants and not their partners. For a marriage to work, you need to care about the other person and make up for their shortcomings. In my household I am the family “calendarâ€, I need to remind my husband every time, of the children school activities, places we need to go etc. Even when I tell him and ask him to put it on his calendar, he will forget. This used to drive me mad, but now I have made the decision to be the family “calendar†and not try to change him. Complementing each other is one sure way of having a happy marriage.
Technology has taken over marriages today. Inasmuch as social media and technology has made communication so easier, it has also somehow negatively impacted communication in marriages. The married couple spend more time on their phones than have a face to face conversation with their spouses.
Thanks to WhatsApp’s groups, Instagram, Twitter, Facebook etc. couples spend more time on these social media sites rather than having in-depth conversations with their spouses. It is very important and necessary for couples to put away their phones while they are spending time together at home. There is nothing better than giving the person you love your full attention when you are together.
Marriage is a beautiful thing, its benefits are enormous.
There are benefits to the individuals involved and to the society as a whole. For instance, having a companion for life among other things.
Marriages also provide a secure environment for bringing up children, a happy marriage breeds happy children. For one to reap these benefits it involves hard work and commitment.
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