Do you want a ‘sugar mummy’?; A recent study shown on Google indicates a rising search for ‘sugar mummies’ in Ghana.
According to the study, Ghana ranks third in the rising search for sugar mummies in Africa, behind Nigeria and Kenya.
No wonder today there are so many young men in relationships with women who are much older. In Ghana, we call such a woman ‘sugar mummy’.
Global studies indicate that generally,men marry women who are four to five years younger. One reason is that women mature faster. Another reason is that a man thinks being older than a woman gives him a sense of superiority. However when it comes to love, logic and statistics can wait.
There is a story of a rich 60-year-old woman who went to her hometown and brought home a 20-year-old distant relative to stay with her.
She told everyone she wanted to sponsor the boy’s education but it was a cover-up. From day one, she kept the young man in her bedroom.
Fortunately or unfortunately, the young man was a village champion in ‘bedmatics’. It was fireworks each day. The boy got everything he wanted and he in turn was on top of his game.
The young man made it to the university and in the final year, got a girlfriend from campus. Anytime he took his girl home, there was a fight with his ‘auntie’ after the girl left.
In protest, he left the house and got his own place. His consolation was that he gave his best shot to the woman who in turn had given him enough to be self-sufficient.
Why ‘sugar mummy’
In the past, our women simply gave themselves to be used by men. They would say ‘mede me ho ama wo’, meaning ‘I have given myself to you’.
Today our women know better, that there is so much goodies to be enjoyed by both partners. An elderly woman who is comfortable but lonely may opt for a young man as she wants to feel young and be treated and ‘spoiled’ like a queen.
Many Ghanaian young men find it hard to make ends meet. It is also a fact that today there are thousands of unemployed Ghanaians who refuse to start anything on their own but look for easy ways to keep body and soul together.
A rich woman looking for fun becomes a favourite target. The young man gives sex and the sugar woman provides his needs. It is a win-win affair!
There are some women who at any age cannot stay without a man in their lives. They do not want marriage or children but need men for companionship and fun.
The younger men are better because they have a surge of energy to perform and create excitement and unpredictability in the relationship.
Today, marriage experts tell of the amazing benefits of sex, especially at an old age. Among many others, sexually active elderly women have lesser pains of every kind, fewer hot flashes, better bone density and better cardiovascular health. They live longer!
Knowledge about sex has ‘opened the eyes’ of Ghanaian elderly women and they are ‘wild’ for sex and are prepared to sponsor young men for sex, and good sex because they pay good money for it.
It is reported that some sugar mummies plan to release their contact on platforms so that they can hook up with young men. They want good and plenty of it but if you go for it, you better perform or pay the penalty for non-performance which may come in many ways.
It is, therefore, not surprising to hear a recent news report that some Ghanaian sugar mummies have threatened to release names of top politicians who are weak in bed, some lasting one minute in bed.
The danger
Most ‘sugar mummy’ relationships lack commitment, a critical ingredient for a stable relationship. The focus is on personal benefit. The woman who is ‘loaded’ gives financial support and in turn gets companionship and sexual benefits. Such a relationship easily fails when one party feels he or she has got enough.
Children of ‘sugar mummies’ are usually against their mothers getting into a relationship with men who may be younger than them.
Children usually create an emotional bond with their single parents and anyone coming in for their parents is seen as an intruder to break the bond. Some children actually fight young lovers of their parents.
Age disparity may pose a danger to ‘sugar mummy’ relationships because partners have different interests and values. They are, therefore, prone to failure with deep wounds.
For example, recently a man in Accra leaked three naked photos of his ‘sugar mummy’ to the media after a break-up of their relationship.
It was also reported recently that a 22-year-old man in Tema committed suicide because his ‘sugar mummy’ dumped him. He had depended completely on this woman and felt he could never make it without her.
Are you searching for a ‘sugar mummy’?
The decision to stay single, marry or get a ‘sugar mummy’ is one of your basic human rights. No one has the right to make that decision for you. If you know you are lonely and a relationship with an elderly woman will spice up your life, you are right.
On the other hand, if you think in your young age you are better without an elderly woman but one similar in age, you are right.
Do what makes you feel good but let it be for a good and honourable purpose. Want to be a sugar mummy? You choose, and live honestly by it.
By Dr John Boakye